I’ve taken on a challenge: to write blog posts for 30 days (give or take, with the Holidays around the corner!) without judging myself, re-writing or over-editing. This idea was started by another coach, Jac McNeil, who had avoided blogging because she didn’t feel she would be good at it. She committed to blog for 30 Days of Imperfection. I’ve struggled with blogging consistently (as you might have noticed!) so I’m taking this on and in the process giving myself permission to just write about whatever comes.
Starting this blog challenge on Imperfection seems so right for me right now.
I finally truly understand that every choice I make in my life, I am making for myself, and myself only. Not for anyone else. Not anymore.
It’s actually never possible to make a choice for someone else. Or live your life for someone else. But for the majority of my life, I’ve been living with a core belief that I have do things right; that I have to make choices that others would approve of. And when I don’t, I feel guilty and worried about what they might think.
But who is that, “they”? At some point, my life became my own. I no longer had to abide by the rules or mores that my parents, my teachers, my peers set in place for me. I could choose. But even with this knowledge, I have still struggled mightily with that inner voice that constantly judges my every move, my every choice.
Only very recently has it clicked that there is no one for whom I have to be perfect. We can argue whether there ever was, but once you’ve hit 40, the list becomes shorter and shorter.
There is no one for me to prove myself to.
There is no one to please.
There is no one to disappoint; no one’s judgment or condemnation to fear.
There is no one to impress.
I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I just AM.
I’m setting this intention today: that each choice I make will begin first with love and compassion for myself. My choices will be based on what’s best for me, before I concern myself with what’s best for anyone else. The old airplane saying “put on your oxygen mask before helping others” comes to mind.
When I open up in that way, I open to feeling further connected with a greater whole: that spark which is in each individual and connects all of us.
Each of us choosing for herself. Each of us walking his path.