Horse Blinders

Horse Blinders

So, here we are on day #2 of the 30 days of Imperfection.

Tonight, I’m thinking about how short life is. And how unfair it can seem.

And how important the choices we make for ourselves when faced with adversity can be.

This year, there seems to have been a rash of serious (and sometimes deadly) illness among my friends and colleagues. It feels too much to bear sometimes.

Then I think about how these people have chosen to face the situations in which they find themselves. It feels a bit trite and cliche to say it, but I have been awed by the courage I’ve been present to, by the willingness to live in spite of everything. I wonder whether I have that capacity, that will.

It’s all about the choices we make. Every day, choosing to live instead of letting my life ebb away from me. Every day, choosing to wrestle with the same fears, the same demons, the same blocks I’ve been fighting all my life. Every day, reaching out to the people in my life who have supported me, and offering to give as well as receive.

What keeps us in our cages? What keeps us believing that we have no other choice than to tread the path we’re on, even when we set up those roadblocks in our own way? I’m stuck, there is no way out. I have no choice because… I can’t possibly imagine giving up the excruciating pain I am in because it feels safe to be here. It’s secure, it’s known. There is no other way.

And then life deals a powerful blow: kidney failure, cancer, job loss, car crash. We wait and wait until we are handed the only choice we can make: to take care of ourselves. To take care of myself. To know that what I thought was my fate, is, in fact, not.

What if we could choose to see beyond our horse-blinders before it gets too late? What could entice you to take them off, to entertain the notion that maybe that secure place isn’t all it’s cracked up to be?

I hope whatever it is, it’s not too serious. Take off those blinders and look around. It’s not too late, nor too soon to make a different choice.

 

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