Archive for the ‘self awareness’ Category

When I was a child, I remember my mother chiding me, saying, “If you don’t love yourself, how can you expect others to love you?”

At the time, I thought there was something wrong with me, because I didn’t know how to love myself. I figured I was doomed to a life without love, since I couldn’t say that I loved myself.

I can now say that I love myself.

What changed? First I had to come to truly KNOW my Self – with all of her faults and beauty. Only then could I embrace her and tell her “I love you.” It’s been a long journey with many twists and turns, but I can now honestly say I love myself.

I often hear clients who are struggling with how much to charge for their services or artwork, and I am reminded of what my mother used to say. How can we expect others to value what we have to offer if we do not value ourselves?

We’re taught that putting ourselves first is “selfish”. But how can we truly be of service to others if we do not care for ourselves? It’s that old airplane adage: “Put your oxygen mask on FIRST before you help someone else with theirs.” Only by caring for, loving and VALUING ourselves can we truly show up in the world in an authentic and meaningful way.

So, the next time you’re struggling with how much to charge for your work, go ahead and figure out your hourly rate and the cost of your materials, but remember to do so with YOU at the center, as the most valuable asset you have to offer your clients, customers and the world. There’s only one YOU. You’re the only one who can do what YOU do!

How do you value yourself? Where does it show up for you?  Here are some ideas:

• Take time to do what you love to do. (Even “doing nothing” is OK!) This is a way of loving yourself.
• Go for a walk. Take a nice hot bath. Take yourself out to lunch or a movie.
• Create a space for YOU in your home. It could be a shelf where you put your favorite pictures and knickknacks. It could be a whole room devoted to YOU and what you love.
• Collect thank-you notes and compliments. Put them in a scrapbook and look it over when you’re feeling down (or up for that matter!) Celebrate your successes. Remembering that others value you can help you when you’re struggling to value yourself.

When you value yourself, you (and your work) will be valued tenfold!

The approach of the New Year is a time of being on the cusp, of having that rare opportunity to be looking backwards and forwards at the same time. Truly, it’s one of the few times in our modern American culture where we can feel what it means to “be in the present”. Everything – past & future – hangs in the balance. We take a deep breath and pause, albeit briefly, to examine ourselves.

Inspired by a fellow coach’s practice of creating Vision Boards each year, I created my own Vision Board for 2009. (If you don’t know, a Vision Board is a homemade collage on poster-board with words and images that are inspiring to you and your vision for yourself.) My theme for 2009 has been “Being in Flow”. It hangs on the wall to the left of my desk, and each time I look at it, I am reminded to “cherish the moment”, “ creative a life you love”, “follow your path” and “choose a positive thought”. The images I chose reflect water in a variety of locales, such as a waterfall in a garden, the ocean, water flowing around rocks, a bridge over water, etc. Throughout the year, I’ve found myself glancing at these images and remembering to be in flow with myself and what life presents.

A Vision Board is an excellent way to stay inspired throughout the year. Of course, you can make a Vision Board for any occasion – mainly it’s a visual cue or reminder of your goals and dreams for yourself – how you envision your life. Whether you make one to help you envision a new home, a new (or improved) romantic relationship or a new job, a Vision Board is a fun, creative and meaningful picture of where you want to be.

So, what will your Vision Board look like for 2010? Grab a bunch of old catalogs, magazines, greeting cards, etc. and go to work collecting those words and images that inspire you. You don’t have to know ahead of time what your theme is. Sometimes the theme becomes apparent as you find yourself drawn to certain images.

My theme for my Vision Board this year is “Receive & Allow”. Like many of you I can find myself giving – till it hurts. I want to consciously practice receiving – with grace and gratitude. Also, I want to “allow” – to let things happen as they may, rather than constantly struggling to “make” things go the way I want. While I am a firm believer in taking action to achieve your goals and aspirations, I know I can fall prey to the desire to grip my goals by the throat in a vain attempt to control the outcome. Which, then, leads me to feel let down when things don’t go the way I want. Which, subsequently leads to me beating myself up for not “doing it right” – whatever that’s supposed to be.

So, in 2010, I consciously Receive & Allow. My Vision Board will be a supportive reminder to me, helping me to not only remember what my theme is, but to feel inspired to return to the theme when I get off track.

Have fun creating your Vision Board for 2010 and I wish you a very Happy, Healthy and Creative New Year!