Archive for the ‘staying present’ Category

As any entrepreneur can tell you, running your own business can be a downright frightening thing at times. Times when you wonder whether you’ll be noticed or stand out from your competition. Times when you have to stand up in front of a group of strangers and try to explain what it is you offer – in a compelling enough way to attract clients or customers. Times when you hit the “publish” button on your blog or website and hope that what you’ve written hits its mark. Times when you wonder if you’ll be able to pay your bills, the rent and still have enough to buy groceries.

I’ve lived with fear a long time. It’s been such a close companion, for much of my life I didn’t even know it for what it was. I assumed it was normal to worry like crazy, feel anxious and berate oneself for failures. Most of us do it all the time, behaving as if we all should somehow magically be prepared for any possible contingency, every possible outcome. “What an idiot I am! Why didn’t I realize that was going to happen? I should have known! I should have seen the signs!!!”

Lately, I found myself worrying a lot about whether my business will succeed or fail. Am I doing everything I can to promote myself? Am I doing it right? Do I even know what I’m supposed to be doing? What if it doesn’t work? What if I can’t do it???

The questions were swimming around in my head, keeping me up at night and waking me up in a state of panic in the mornings. “I’ll be OK,” I told myself. “I have faith that it will work out; I’m in a learning curve, that’s all.” But no matter how much I tried to hush the panicky voices inside me, they only seemed to hang on tighter and get louder.

I finally sat down to confront them the other night. I wanted to truly understand why, no matter what I said or did, I still felt this anxiety. Finally, it hit me: what my fear needed to hear was confirmation that I have failed. I HAVE FAILED. I’m doing it even now. Oh, my. Wow. I am currently failing. My business success is not happening the way I wanted it to right now.  I’ve FAILED!!!!! Aaaarrrrggghhhhh!!!

And then I started laughing. Because as soon as I admitted to myself that I am failing, I have failed and I no doubt will continue to fail, I FELT BETTER. My anxiety lightened up a little. The problems I’m dealing with didn’t go away, but the panicky questions in my head – the constant stream of “what ifs?” – got quieter.

I’m still giggling a little as I write this. What a relief to remember that it’s OK to fail; in fact we do it all the time. How lovely to revel in failures and the lessons they can teach rather than shy away from them. Now that I’ve admitted to failing, I am open to possibility. Instead of the nagging “What if?” I can hear the exhilarating “What’s next?!”

Try it. Admit to your deepest fear. You can fail. It doesn’t have to be spectacular; it can just be. I wonder what will happen when you do.

Take a moment, right now as you’re reading this, to grab a pen and a piece of paper. Write down 5 things you’re grateful for today.

It could be you’re grateful for the sunshine. Or the rain. You could be grateful for your friends, your family, your beloved. You could be grateful for your job. You could be grateful that your boss isn’t bugging you with more work, or that you have an upcoming vacation. You could be grateful for your dog or cat. You could be grateful for the roof over your head.

What do we have if we don’t have gratitude? How could we connect with joy, with our drive and motivation, with our souls without it?

Gratitude is up for me today. Don’t even quite know why, except that I have had some experiences and achievements lately that are reminding me to acknowledge my gratitude. I’ve completed my Certified Professional Coach training. I think it didn’t occur to me how BIG this would feel. I’ve spent the better part of the last two years dedicated to this achievement, and now, here it is. So much has happened in my life; so much has changed (mostly for the better!)

I am grateful there was a Coach Training program near me. I am grateful that I had the courage to make the choice to go to this program. I am grateful for my instructors: their kindness, compassion, support and modeling of what masterful coaching is. I am so very grateful to my fellow classmates who have been with me on this extraordinary journey.

I am grateful to be finished with my schoolwork. I am extremely grateful to those clients who have been with me for over a year, who took the risk to begin coaching with me when I was still a “newbie”. I am grateful for my newer clients and for the clients who are on their way. I am grateful for my friends and family members who have supported (and worried for) me through this career change.

I am grateful to be living out loud my dream of being my own boss, doing what I love every day and doing something that matters in the world.

In a way, this blog post is turning into one great big THANK YOU note, but that’s OK.

Gratitude is about acknowledging where you’ve been and where you are now. It gives us permission to see our own accomplishments and who has been there with us all along. Most importantly, gratitude puts us in touch with our JOY. And joy reminds us to be who we truly are in the world, thus inspiring others to do the same.

So, write down 5 more things you’re grateful for. Tonight, before you go to bed, list 5 more. Do this every day and you may start to see something shift in your life – shift inside of you.

What are you grateful for right now?